2003-05-18

I was hanging out Saturday, again questioning why I left the comfort of the house to sit somewhere, pay to drink, and get tenitus for my troubles, when Insane in the Membrane by Cyprus Hill started blaring. The small dance area instantly filled with drunks shaking their very white asses. And that right there is why I still go out. To see sloshed white suburban kids lip syncing �cuz a nigga like me is going insane�. Oh, I will admit that my toe was tapping. But still, it was very much a 2Fast, 2Furious kind of moment. What was Hollywood thinking? Was the first one such a hit that we need a second? Vin Diesel moved on, can�t Paul Walker do the same?

I suppose not.

Today in church was Youth Sunday. Which I affectionately dubbed Emo Sunday. Good Charlotte were our ushers, while Something Corporate and New Found Glory accompanied the choir with their guitars and drums. I tell you, Hymn 336 never sounded better. The new youth director is a 19 year old college student who wants to be a Youth Minister. I had to fend off no less than 5 offers from old ladies for introductions. It seems that she is available. The Women�s Society has seen way to many Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies. She is single, and they do need someone to volunteer to take over Sunday school, wink, wink, nudge, nudge, excuse me while I dump this decaffeinated coffee and stale girl scout cookie in the plant and run for the car. She�s 19! And in College. The world to experience. Hearts to break. She probably has no idea who Cypress Hill is. Plus, she�s fat.

I�m totally kidding. She is a very nice, attractive girl. Honest. She looks kind of like Lauren Ambrose with all her freckles. A Brunette. Drives a white Cavalier with an Ataris sticker and a Christian Fish. I�d say she�s a Roxy girl, surf shop novelty tees and flip-flops during the week. Gap Body tank tops with a denim skirt as well.

One woman told me that she was Canadian. And on some sort of strange visa. Of course, when this woman dated, she had to get her man before he was shipped off to Europe or Asia. They worked fast back then. I also talked with a rather strange woman who was confused that the coffee and cookies were free. I thought at first she was drunk but it turns out she was Swedish. Which also explained her outfit.

I start my job tomorrow. I�m not looking forward to it. I�ve decided against anything overtly labled, I�m thinking that I should probably wait a week or two before exposing all the fakes in that office. I�m also going all conservative, nothing summery. Tomorrow I�m wearing a pair of dark blue wool slacks from the Gap with a blue dress shirt I picked up from Express with a dark blue tie with light blue flecks. Shoes by Kenneth Cole. They won�t know what hit them. Well, except for that ugly stick.

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