2003-01-15

Today was Bimberly�s birthday. There was some confusion about decorations, and thus several people brought them, so her cubicle ended up resembling one of those shrines that the Hispanics leave on dangerous curves. Or does that only happen in California? Excuse me while I take this call, I think it�s hell confirming my reservation. I didn�t give Bimberly anything, not even a Chai when I stopped at Starbucks. I did sign the card that was passed around. There may have been a gift card included. To be honest, I wasn�t all that interested in it. Plane had done some graphical tricks with her Mac, producing some faux photos of Bimberly�s past. There was no nudity involved, so the laughs died quickly as everyone lost interest. I ended up not even sampling the cake. It was vanilla, and I might have cared should it have been mint. Our company controller came down, probably for the cake. It may just have been fortuitous timing however. I keep sending the picture of her from our quarterly report to talk shows, hoping they�ll give the woman a makeover but thus far there have been no takers. One of my prouder moments involved using a letter opener to fasten the Loheman�s add to her door. Her waste is directly under her arms, something she calls attention to by wearing skirt/blouse combo�s that she tucks in. She is also three feet tall. She is easy to mess with though. She keeps copies of all the documents that comes by her desk. Including memos from 1994. I needed to have her sign a slip and she required two copies and a point clarified before her John Hancock would go anywhere near it (Damn, that joke kind of fell flat. I�ll have to remember that) and it was a lowly commission form for a contractor that we had been doing business with for far longer than I�ve been with the company. My boss was traveling at the time and she was the designated signer of documents. She also wears very bright colors for someone with such a bland complexion, I think because she is afraid of the accountant stereotype. I once complimented her on a rather austere choice, suggesting she should wear it everyday. Oh those young na�ve days when I thought everyone could benefit from my helpful advice. Now of course, I know they can but I�m not hurt when they choose to ignore it.

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