Vice Monkeys by 

SHAG

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2003-03-19

Fat Guy or Dominatrix, who would you pick?

There are bets going around the office on whether or not Chunky is going to lose it. Not necessarily his lunch or anything, as might be indicated by his name. No, he�s a healthy strapping lad who works in Sales, one of those all American types with a face so earnest it�s impossible not to take advantage of him. Which we all do. I actually feel sorry for him, trapped into being a whipping boy, the way he can�t say no or turn down a project. It�s no doubt related to some strange need to be liked. Which is a liability in this company. I swear, it�s a pit of vipers. I was going to say wolves, but I think they are loyal. Suddenly my lack of smoking pot and watching Discovery in College is biting my ass. Or maybe it�s one of the interns, trying to get ahead. We approve of that here. It�s how I got my position. Never underestimate the power of a little backstabbing. Anyway, management has shoved more than Chunky can handle down his throat and the strain is beginning to tell. This is the time when we could all be supportive and let him know that we are there for him if he needs some help or something, but that runs the risk of him actually giving us something to do so for now, we�ll just observe from afar. It vaguely reminds me of that movie Earthquake with Charlton Heston or some such look alike, where the snobby, rich executives shove the lowly secretaries and temps out of the way to get into the elevator, which then plummets to the bottom of the shaft covering the screen in red blob. It horrified me as a child. Now though, I imagine that�s exactly how we would act here in the office, if faced with some kind of emergency. And Chunky would try to sort it all out, keep calm, and probably get trampled in the stampede. On the plus side, this perhaps would somehow save him from turning into a red cartoon blob.

Today marks the second questionable clothing choice. I�m dressed like a 70�s kitchen, and I�m not really sure if the browns, greens, and orange all go together as well as I thought the night before. I should only stick to blacks and grays. It�s so easier to deal with a monochromatic color scheme. Also, my seasonal allergies have kicked in, and the allergy pack prescribed by my HMO deliver a double whammy of confusion whenever I try to focus on things. Maybe I can head downtown later and pick up some Speed. Just to counteract the dullness. And let me feel more confident in my clothing choices.

Bimberly�s breasts are again a topic of water cooler speculation, but mainly because she came dressed today in a black mini, black knee boots, and a top that has quite the swoop. It�s very dominatrix looking. With her hair up and her alabaster skin one expects her to slap at the wall with a riding crop and speaking in a German accent. She is, understandably, very popular.

Look at us, we're beautiful (0)

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Email Entry, Just for Laughs - 2006-01-25
Stupid Names - 2006-01-03
Something quick - 2005-11-18
Updates from Utah - 2005-09-01
Cha-Cha-Changes - 2005-07-07

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