Vice Monkeys by 

SHAG

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2003-03-10

Chiquita Banana Invites You.....

I was without Internet for a few days, both at work and home. Then, when I got it back, I was too lazy to update. So it goes.

I was a man whore on Sat night.

I went into the city early to do a bit of shopping. Then I was met up with friends for dinner and then the debauchery took place. North Beach was packed, but fun, and we didn�t have to wait much for dinner. My parking spot fortune was �Your Family Adores You� which I found amusing. I love parking spot fortunes. We then went to a bar to hang out and I proceeded to act like one of the Hilton Sisters. I spent a lot of money on other people�s drinks, but I really didn�t mind because I was enjoying my time in the spotlight. Fondling jewelry, stroking necks, buying drinks. Singing along to the songs playing. Laughing. It was a good time. I could have crashed at the sister�s, perhaps acting super inebriated, or even leaning on their intercom babbling some sort of I love you, I shit my pants again, type rhetoric but after dropping off a friend I didn�t feel like wacky hijinks and instead fled for home. I got home and saw that it was 3 am. I didn�t realize how exhausted I was until I drove up to the house. Suddenly fatigue overtook me, and it took all of my energy to turn off the car, stumble up the steps, find the assorted keys required for entry to the different parts of the building, and collapse into bed. I woke an hour later and shrugged off my sweaty clothes and shoes before losing consciousness for the second time. I�m amazed that I made it home, and a little frightened. I hadn�t done much drinking, a couple of pints is all, spread out over a very long period. Perhaps it was the man whoring. It takes a lot out of me.

Sunday was a lazy day. Didn�t do much. Didn�t get out much. Recouped the losses of my soul and recharged the batteries. I was supposed to go watch the Simpson�s with friends but it just never happened.

My company scored a rather large contract. In honor of this contract I spent the day writing on various pieces of fruit the details for a function we are having to celebrate said contract. The stench of permanent marker and fruit is still on me. The worst part, it was my idea in the first place. I mentioned it to Plain who thought it a grand scheme and the next think I know I�m labeling pears, apples, and oranges. If I had been smart I would have used first grade penmanship and been excused. Although that probably wouldn�t have worked, because I have a board on the wall of my cube that I keep track of things with, all color coordinated by region and neat. It wasn�t terrible, and certainly beat pretending to be busy. I thought that Canadian should have been helping me, but it seems Plain had given him another project to work on, so I got stuck with it. But when I was done I got to play messenger and pass it all around. Someone ate their apple, which was just stupid. It has marker on it! I have very little respect for my co-workers. Then, on thinking about it, I imagined it was all a ploy to get sick, sue the company for millions and retire. I was pissed I had selected an orange for myself. All the fruit had come from Costco, and it really was a waste of some prime daily recommended servings. Which was the reason I had selected an orange for myself in the first place. I just don�t have the quick grasping of workplace safety that would enable me to screw the system. It�s because I never worked in fast food I think. Or really paid any amount of attention to safety videos. I imagine those give a lot of examples of what to do to get injured on the job. I�ll have to check the library. I feel a repetitive injury coming on from trying to write on a edible surface.

Look at us, we're beautiful (0)

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Email Entry, Just for Laughs - 2006-01-25
Stupid Names - 2006-01-03
Something quick - 2005-11-18
Updates from Utah - 2005-09-01
Cha-Cha-Changes - 2005-07-07

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