Vice Monkeys by 

SHAG

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2003-01-06

A rather silly daydream

I was late getting up this morning, and so rushed from the house without my usual repast. So I kind of fell asleep/daydreamed during a rather boring meeting. I imagined what it would be like to go back in time, to some Victorian time, say. But as I thought about it, I really don�t have anything to offer the Victorians, aside from psychological insight into their doings. The batteries in my various electronic wonders would soon give out, and I know very little about them to teach them anything. �Yes, your Majesty. I can play card games with this device. With no one else. Uhm, no, it doesn�t have a peep.� My only skills concern finding the best deals at the mall, something that would hardly allow me to guide the nation. No, it is my grandfathers generation that could most help the Victorians, I think. They took the world from it�s rather stagnant pace and brought it into the electronic age. Sure, it would bring about a nuclear age when most of the rulers of the day were inbred cousins with a grudge because of the way their grandmother treated them, but still. Things would be better. I would be tempted to lie, telling them all about the fantastic cities with magnetic trains and the colonies in space. The scandals of the royal family would be just hilarious to relate. And then your great great grand daughter, because the real king ran off with a divorced American DIDN�T WEAR A HAT ON VETERANS DAY. Of course, her mothers Scottish. And the queen would no doubt faint right away. It was a strange moment, and I only share it with you (all two of you now. The defector will be punished. No Nike�s or something. Maybe his/her/its supermarket savings card taken away, where he/she/it will be a pariah, unable to participate in buy one get one free and other offers too good to pass up) because little else of note happened. I ate Japanese for lunch and pretended to work in the afternoon, as usual. Which is preferable to a rather silly Disney-esque plotline. I�ll have to experiment with over the counter medications (stupid work Zero Tolerance drug policy!) in order to come up with some more fascinating daydreams. Involving Kung Fu and saving the world and such. That I can option, make tons of money, and use those funds to have scientists make me a time machine, so I can go back in time and make fun of Queen Victoria. Oops.

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