2002-12-25

Happy Holidays everyone. To quote the old man in the drunk tank, �We won�t see another one� There are times when I think he is a wise, wise man, and there are times when I think he is a fool. It�s usually dependent upon my mood. I had a quiet Christmas, and not really a lonely one. I spent the day idle and lazy, meeting up with friends in the early evening for drinks and laughs. Called my mother and assorted family members. Thought about writing thank you notes but re-thought it and watched the Trading Spaces marathon.

I have been enjoying the freedom of the roommate being gone for the holidays. Although all the things that I promised myself I�d do, I pretty much have not. With the exception of today, I�ve pretty much gone about my normal daily routine of shallow judgment and petty thoughts. Aside from some votives I put out to hid the smell of an unfortunate foray into Middle Eastern cooking and some not so fresh garland I bought Sunday last for very cheap at the Farmer�s Market, I didn�t even decorate. It�s very different than my first Christmas alone. I almost miss that ache of homesickness. How I was careful to observe the familial traditions even though I could make up my own. I put wrapped gifts under my tree that year, the ones for friends and such alongside those that I had purchased for myself. Those even had tags. To Will From Santa. Any packages I received also went under the tree, to be opened on Christmas itself. That morning I woke early, and with childlike abandon opened the gifts. I then made myself coffee and listened to A Very Special Christmas while sitting there, thinking that it was, in fact, a very special one indeed. I even waited until New Year�s Day, packing everything up while nursing one of my very first hangovers. How adult and grown up I felt then. How silly and foolish I think, looking back. This year of course, was nothing like that. The dearth of holiday spirit via decorations aside, I tore into any packages that arrived like the greedy bastard I am. Don�t tell my mother I told you all that, she would not be pleased. Silly southerners with their antiquated thoughts. My evening ended early, and now I�m catching up on email and in general, getting ready for another day. All the fuss and such for the day seems almost a waste.

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